Friday December 28 - I Have A Dream

My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been 11 months, 27 days and nine hours since my last drink.

THREE DAYS AND 15 HOURS LEFT!

I think I might have started to yearn.

I had the most wonderful dream on Boxing Night. I dreamed I was in a bar at about a quarter to midnight on New Year's Eve. I was chatting to people about how much I was looking forward to boozing again, and what my first drink would be (a conversation I've had about, ooh, 48 times this month), when somebody pointed out that it was five past midnight.

I felt elated that my marathon was over and yet slightly peeved to have missed the big countdown to midnight.

I think this might be a warning from my subconscious. It's telling me not to look forward to the Big Day too much, as it will inevitably disappoint. Or maybe it's just my body telling me to hurry up and get to the bar.

Either way, it is interesting that it took me nearly the whole year to dream about booze. My friend Nick recently told me that as a teenager he gave up, erm, self-abuse, because he wanted to have erotic dreams. He saw them as a source of free porn, but had to wait for a full three months until he had one.

So - and here comes the science bit - that means that Nick was four times more addicted to onanism than I am to alcohol. Pervert.

Gem and I spent Boxing Day at her parents' house in the Black Country and we are now down in Devon visiting my sister Charlotte, Jim, and kids. I hope this explains why I haven't blogged for a few days, as the internet has not been invented yet in either place. In fact, even this brief message I had to scrawl on a piece of parchment and pay an urchin half a crown to cycle it to London. I just pray it reaches you. God speed, little man.