My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been 11 months, 30 days and 18 hours since my last drink.
SIX HOURS TO GO!
My heart is pounding. My cheeks are flushed. My palms are sweating. Every pore in my body is crying out for a drink.
Not an alcoholic drink. It would be a bit weird to start going cold turkey six hours shy of an entire year.
No, I've just tasted the chilli salsa I've spent half the afternoon slaving over and I think I should probably have heeded Jamie's advice to deseed the chillis. I need water.
My fingers are red raw from chilli juice, my back is aching from the day's labour, and I'm covered in that rich cooking sweat which clings to your head.
But am I downhearted?
No siree. Because in less than six hours time, sweet mommy alcohol is coming to kiss away the pain.
Quick checklist.
Champagne in fridge? Check.
Wine in fridge? Check.
Beer chilling in boot of car because no room in fridge due to all the champagne and wine? Check.
Self-restraint, self-respect and selflessness all hanging by a thread, ready to be thrown out the window at midnight? Triple check, baby.
Let's go to work.
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