Monday December 31 - So, What Was The Point Again?

My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been 11 months, 30 days and 10 hours since my last drink.

14 HOURS TO GO!

Back in the darkest days of this project - ie, any time before my mood lifted in early December - I thought I would awake today feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve. But that's not quite accurate. I feel more like a virgin on prom night. Yes, I'm excited about what lies ahead (I'm talking about drinking booze, now, not being deflowered in the back of a Cadillac by some sweaty-handed quarterback) but I'm also a little bit nervous.

What if it's not as good as I hoped?

What if it feels really horrible?

What if I don't like the taste, or it makes me gag? (Yes, I'm definitely still talking about booze, thank you.)

At least I know that I won't be geting totally plastered tonight, as I can't drink any alcohol until midnight. Yes, I could play catch up and try to get inebriated before Big Ben has struck his final bong, but I doubt I'll do that. On every one of my sober nights this year, any alcohol cravings have disappeared long before midnight. By that time, I've usually felt quite glad that I'm having a good time and I won't have a killer hangover in the morning.

Having said that, maybe the sense of occasion will take over and I'll get lost in the moment. And when I say lost, I mean pissed.

Anyway, I've got three bottles of champagne in the fridge - one of which is all mine! - and eight people coming round in nine hours for an Egyptian-themed dinner party. I'll be playing the part of Tom Tom, a local tour guide. Thankfully, my costume is already sorted. I did a lot of research on the Internet into Egyptian dress and the different styles worn by men of various rank, status and religion in the different regions of this vast and complex country. Then I went to Primark and bought a white bed sheet and a chequered tea-towel for four quid. Job done.

Alas, I do have to buy and cook dinner, and make a start on tidying the house. So any thoughts of spending today writing a long and thoughtful blog entry on this momentous occasion are out the window. In lieu of that, please enjoy this hastily written - but honest - Frequently Asked Questions session.

F.A.Qs

So have you really not drank all year?
I honestly have not touched a drop. I'd tell you if I had. In fact, I always planned to have a relapse at some stage as I thought it would make for a more interesting read. But the moment never quite arose and after I reached the halfway stage I became obsessed with simply completing the year.

Does that include alcohol in food?
I think I may have had the odd stew with a splash of wine thrown in, but I understand that all the alcohol is burned off. I made every effort to avoid puddings with alcohol in them, and even yesterday I had to spit out a chocolate I had randomly selected because it tasted of rum.

Didn't your friends just spike your drink for a laugh?
I'm sure they were tempted to, but I'm fairly sure they didn't. They may well decide to tell me otherwise at about 11.55pm tonight.

Why did you do it?
I could write for hours on this question, but you'd get bored and I'd be faced with some very hungry Egyptian-themed dinner guests tonight. Suffice to say I wanted a challenge, I wanted something to write about, and I wanted to see if my life (which was already very blessed) got any better without the millstone of alcohol around my neck.

Has it been a success?
I'd say yes on every count. Yes, it was a challenge. Yes, it was something to write about and yes, my life got better in quite a few ways.

Has it been a roaring success?
Probably not, if I'm being honest.

I don't think the challenge was as great as I thought it might be. I was never addicted to alcohol in any serious way, so giving it up was just a question of gritting my teeth and getting on with it. Life without booze is tough, but you can still have a great time. Perhaps I'm also guilty of not pushing myself enough, I never did go to the Munich Beer Festival.

I think I also failed to pull up any trees with the writing side of things. There's only so many ways you can write about a bunch of relatively sensible 30-somethings who like to go out and get pissed, but are still quite good company. Maybe I should have made more effort to go out with some more volatile groups - spending the night sober with a bunch of squaddies on the lash in Colchester, for example, would probably throw up a few more tales than sitting in the Penny Lane Wine Bar with Gregg and Graham. But, frankly, I didn't want to.

As for my life getting better, it is almost impossible to say how much of this is down to my sobriety. I've got a great new job, I'm a stone lighter, several grand richer, and my marriage seems better than ever. But I like to think a lot of that would have happened anyway. Apart from the weight loss thing.

Would you do it again?
If anyone ever hears me threatening to do this again, they have my permission to shoot me. Or just get me really pissed until I forget about it.
I do, however, plan to have at least one month off the booze every year.

What was your worst non-drinking moment?
So many contenders. Being forced to sip nothing but mineral water throughout a free wine-tasting evening with one of Italy's top sommeliers in January was tough. Staying sober at not one but two of my own leaving do's was a killer. Watching Gary and Gregg wrestle each other at 4am in a crowded street in Puerto Banus also sticks in the mind.

But all of those experiences had their lighter sides. For pure misery, I'll always come back to the Saturday afternoon of Gregg's stag do in Krakow in June. Sitting in that beer garden while watching every last one of my mates turn into leering, boggle-eyed, aggressive, loudmouth, ranting gobshites was one of the most painful experiences I can remember.

What was your best non-drinking moment?
Thankfully, there have also been many good moments. They all share a theme, which is me realising that I was having an absolutely fantastic time despite - or sometimes even because - I wasn't drinking. Walking through the streets of Barcelona at about 4am after a top night out on Cumbi's stag do springs to mind. (As does the following morning, when my flight back to Liverpool was cancelled and I had to act fast to avoid being stuck there until Wednesday - there's no way I'd have managed that with a hangover.)
Managing to throw off my sober inhibitions long enough to hit the dance floors at all three weddings (Cumbi and Cathy, Gregg and Hannah, Dave and Emma) will also stay with me.

When did you most miss drinking?
Always at the start of the night. Nothing compares to that first hit of strong lager, or Guinness, or red wine. Especially when you mix them together with two parts Cointreau and a dash of lime.
I don't really miss getting drunk. But I do miss drinking.

Also, after golf. To wash away the pain.

Do you think you'll just give up booze forever now?
No, no and thrice no.

Will you go back to your old drinking habits?
I hope not to. I really hope I can remember the lessons of this year, which are basically that some nights need alcohol but many do not. And even those that do need alcohol don't generally need you to stay up drinking flaming Sambucas until 5am.

I plan to drink less on the big nights out, drink much less or even nothing at all on the quiet nights out, and give myself one or two months abstinence in any year. But make sure those months don't coincide with any major social events.

What will you give up next year?
Nothing. I'm done with giving stuff up. It's time to choose life.