Friday January 19 - I Have A Dream (Of A Girly Drink)

My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been 18 days, 17 hours and 50 minutes since my last drink.

I had my first alcohol-related dream last night. Bizarrely, it appeared to be prompted by both a deep yearning for booze (I was thoroughly enjoying my dream dram) but also by a fear of failing my tee-total mission (I woke up feeling guilty - and not in a good way).

However, perhaps the most disturbing element of the dream was the drink itself. Ladies and gentlemen, I dreamed that I was drinking a Jack Daniels and Coke.

Now, I'm not pretending I never drink JD and Coke. It has its place in the great booze hierarchy, and can settle the stomach quite effectively during a big night out, for example.

All the same, it's a bit of a girly drink to be dreaming about. Surely an urbane gent like me should be dreaming of a fine single malt whisky, or some pricey and obscure vodka made from glacial ice harvested with pure platinum pick axes by Latvian craftsmen.
Failing that, even a pint of strong lager would have been preferable, marking me out as an honest man-of-the-people.

But Jack Daniels and Coke? Do I really yearn for something so naff, so nineties, so sickly sweet and synthetic? That's like abstaining from sex for a year then having an erotic dream about...Anthea Turner.

Tonight is Friday, and it has been yet another tough and busy week at work, not least because it was a bit breezy yesterday and several people were struck by flying trees and large pieces of masonry.

My normal plan of attack after such a week - any week, to be honest - would be to head directly to Penny Lane Wine Bar and refuse to leave until my entire body weight was made up of eight parts Guinness and two parts dazzling wit.
Instead, I plan to stay in and get "high on hatred". Jade "Goebbels" Goody will be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother tonight, and I plan to get drunk on the satisfaction of watching the world's longest 15 minutes of fame come to an end.

God, I'm nasty when I'm sober.

PS. Big shout out to the mysterious stranger who has left a comment claiming that AA meetings are more interesting than this blog. Can't believe I'm getting email abuse from a real alkie - must make a pleasant change from shouting it from park benches. Good for you!