Wednesday January 10 - What Would Allah Do?

My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been nine days, 18 hours and 12 minutes since my last drink.

A slightly concerning newsflash from the East.

Matt S, a friend and fellow Social Alcoholic who moved to Dubai last year, sent me the following email:

"I was at the doctor's the other day for a health check and he
asked me about drinking. I told him what you were doing and said I might do something similar. He said it would be bad for my health and told me to drink moderate amounts to stay relaxed. He was a Muslim."

It's fairly worrying when even natives of a country where you can still get whipped for boozing appear to be saying: "Oh go on, you big Jessie, couple of pints won't do any harm."

Still, that's what makes me so hard core.

Physically, the project is going well. The cravings are bearable and the wife says my face looks thinner already - although she couldn't work out if this was due to it being less fat, or simply less puffy through water retention. Yep, I know what you're thinking, she sure is a lucky gal.

Socially, the drinking merry-go-round remains sluggish after Christmas, so I have yet to face the horror of a dry night in the pub. Last night, however, I discovered a potential pitfall for the newly reformed Social Alkie. What do you bring to people's houses when they cook you dinner?

Do you still bring wine even when you don't plan to drink it?
If yes, what is the price threshold?

On the one hand, I don't want to look tight by turning up with a £2 bottle that is made "from a blend of EU countries".
On the other hand, I don't want to fork out £15 for a Chatty Nerd de Bap or a Peanut Gigolo, only to watch my mates slurp it from crystal goblets while I force down brackish tap water from a chipped mug.

This issue cropped up last night when we went to our friends, Hannah and Gregg's, for dinner. Luckily, it was a casual affair, so no big deal to turn up booze-less. But what happens when it's a proper do?

Gregg says I will just have to bring booze and let others drink it. I am not sure whether his advice is based on proper etiquette guidelines, or simply the chance to snaffle free alcohol.

I have my suspicions it is the latter.