My name is Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been seven days, 18 hours and 50 minutes since my last drink.
I have a small apology to make to my dear old friend, alcohol. I had always blamed booze for that creeping feeling of paranoia and self-loathing that tends to descend on a Sunday night and last until mid-Monday. Regular readers may recall that I know this phenomenon as The Fear.
As it turns out, The Fear still pays its weekly visit even after a weekend of saintly abstinence. It is much weaker - a kind of Fear-lite, if you will - with less sweating and sighing, and a slightly reduced craving for two cheese-and-onion pasties for breakfast, but it was unmistakably present last night and this morning.
This may be an unwanted and unexpected side effect of going tea-total. What the hell can I blame for my shortcomings, doubts and fears when alcohol is out of the equation? Mobile phone masts? Sick building syndrome? Asylum seekers? I need a new scapegoat, and fast.
It also reminds me of the old joke: "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't all out to get me."
Ie, Just because I'm not hungover on a Monday, doesn't mean I'm not considering committing hara kiri with the office stapler.
Hmmm..doesn't really have the same ring, but you know what I mean.
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Will: try Cobra alcohol free lager. It's nice if you drink it at a temperature somethere hovering just above freezing point. there's also some german stuff in tescos called DRIVE which is perfectly palatable.
i think u should persuade a couple of key drinking haunts to stock up on one or the other rather than that kaliber muck. it might sustain you during some dark nights of the soul....
my first booze of 2007 will be on jan 24 (jane's birthday) about 14 days and five minutes away... I'll be thinking of you.
cheers (sorry, force of habit)... I mean regards, obviously.
JB
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