Sunday January 21 - Dry Year, Wet Band

My name's Will and I'm a social alcoholic. It's been 20 days, 17 hours and 22 minutes since my last drink.

I was up at 3.30am today, duetting to a Keane song on karaoke.

What's that, you say? A relapse? Mission aborted? The sound of a weak-willed man falling off the wagon as it goes over its first speed bump?

Nope, I'm proud to say that is not the case. Well, about as proud as it's possible to be after you've just admitted voluntarily singing a song by Keane - a band so wet they make Coldplay look like Black Sabbath.

However, the important thing is that my precious booze cherry remains fully intact, despite a Saturday night jampacked with temptation. We had eight friends over for dinner last night, which may sound civilised but is normally the recipe for a ten-hour drinking binge.

Let me explain. It starts with a few beers while you cook dinner, then your guests arrive, laden with more booze than Richard Madeley's trench coat pockets. Only people in BBC sitcoms or Jamie Oliver's pretend "mates" turn up to their friend's house with one lousy bottle or a four-pack of beer - the modern dinner guest arrives with a case of strong lager balanced on the shouler, a bottle of white wine in each hand and a red "warming" in the armpit.

You get stuck into a few more beers, then wash down your lovingly prepared meal with a few glasses of wine. And when I say glasses, I mean those fashionably oversized goblets which look more like goldfish bowls. I believe the idea is that you pour a normal-sized measure, which you can then swill around the glass in order to fully appreciate the fruity aroma. The reality, however, is that you fill it to the brim and get stuck in, possibly even leaving it on the table and bowing your head for the first few sips, like a dog drinking water from the toilet.

After dinner, it's another couple of beers to "cleanse the palate", then onto the spirits. Starting with the good stuff, before sampling the delights of the slightly dustier bottles - the raffle prize ouzo, the cooking sherry, that pear schnapps you bought in duty free to use up your last two Euros.

Then you play a few games, have a few heated debates, the guitar comes out and before you know it, it's 5am and the neighbours have come round begging you not to sing American Pie again. Or at least learn the lyrics to more than one verse.

Last night went pretty much to this formula, but I stuck to soft drinks. I started off on Coke, and quickly discovered that the adverts lied. You can beat the feeling, and Coke is not It. Beer is It.
Then I tried to kid my body that I was drinking wine with dinner by glugging grape juice out of a wine glass. It didn't believe me.

At some point I must have stopped yearning, though, and by the wee hours I was definitely having just as much fun as my drunken comrades, as we did battle on Trivial Pursuit, Buzz the music quiz and the Playstation karaoke game Singstar.

I know many booze-free nights ahead will be harder - not least an impending stag weekend in Barcelona - but last night was a doddle, so I might as well enjoy it while I can.

PS. I know you're wondering, and yes, I won Triv (team), Buzz (solo) and Singstar (a battle to the aforementioned Keane). Some bitter people will claim this was due to me being sober and them being pissed. I say talent always shines through.