The Introduction - What Is A Social Alcoholic?

My name is Will and I am a social alcoholic.

There, I've said it. If I was a proper alcoholic I'd have got a round of applause for that. Proper alkies get all the glory. We social alcoholics are their poor cousins – which is ironic, because they are the ones who have lost their jobs and spent all their money on booze.
If you are reading this blog, you too may be a social alcoholic. If not, you certainly know one. We are a common breed.

But how to spot us?

Unlike proper alcoholics, social alcoholics do not have gruesome tales of hitting rock bottom. We start our day with toast and tea, not G&T. We use Brasso for knick-knacks, not necking. And the only time we hide stashes of booze around the house is to prevent family and friends from drinking the good stuff.
We social alcoholics are not physically addicted to alcohol, and our lives have not been torn apart by drink. We can go for days or even weeks at a time without boozing.

It's just that we prefer not to.

Alcohol is not the driving force in our lives, but it does like to shout regular instructions from the back seat. We use it to celebrate and commiserate, to gear ourselves up and wind ourselves down, to mark an occasion or simply pass time. In summer we use to to cool down, in the winter to warm up. And in the autumn and spring? We just use it to get pissed.
The social alcoholic's week is often structured around bingeing and purging on drink. Does this pattern seem familiar to you?

Monday – a few snifters to 'take the edge off' the start of the working week.
Tuesday – dry
Wednesday – a mini-session to mark the mid-week milestone.
Thursday – dry, or possibly a few to 'take the edge off' last night's mini session.
Friday – a very well-deserved post-working week session
Saturday – a combined session to both 'take the edge off' the very well-deserved post-working week session, and to celebrate the joy of Saturday.
Sunday – dry, or perhaps a few cheeky ones, seeing as it's Sunday.

If that does sound familiar, then you my friend are an social alcoholic, and this blog is for you. Come join me on this virtual park bench, and take a swig from my 3-litre bottle of White Lightning wisdom.